"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." 

-Robert Frost

So, I haven't blogged in a really long time. And to be quite honest I almost forgot all about this blog. Sad, really. I got the random to urge to write, so here I am. I really should be doing my math homework, but I just couldn't get this idea out of my mind. That quote by Robert Frost is probably one of my favorite quotes of all time, and it really describes what I felt the need to write about. I kicked off 2012 with a bang, literally. I wouldn't consider the start to my year a good memory, one I actually want to tuck away and never think about ever again. Along with totaling my car, bad things kept on piling on to the new year. I haven't felt that sad or hopeless in a really long time, just wondering everyday when things were gonna pick up. I thought surely that nothing else bad could happen, all I could go from there was up, right? That it did. Today, March 14, 2012 things are better. It got better. That's something that really kept me going, just knowing that things will eventually get better, after all time heals all wounds. Finally my year can turn around, and for anyone reading this... maybe your day, week, or month is turning around to. All I had to do was remind myself that it would get better. Good things happen to those who wait. Bad things happen to everyone, you just have to get through them.

Those three words are something I want to live by: "It gets better"

So me and Mr. Frost are similar tonight, because I came to that realization. I have a lot of life left to live, and it will get better.

Ever wonder what if? I  do. Ever wonder if you're the only one that thinks what if? Me too. Im writing the blog from my phone, because as of right now... I dont know what to do other than to write. so much has built up inside of me lately. i was always warned, junior year changes everything you thought was good. i feel like my life has been chewed up, blended, made into a slushie, and spit right back out. im tired of feeling alone, and frankly i dont think i have to. everything i've come to know in my entire life i'm now questioning. why? i shouldnt be. im tired of feeling like i'm the only one messing everything up, i'm tired of wondering for everything i do "what if?" i know that im not the only one going through this, i couldnt be, am i wrong? life shouldnt be about wondering if everything you do could change your life drastically. lately ive been thinking a whole lot about my path for life, i dont have all the answers, i wish i did, i wish someone did. i dont want the decisions i'm making now effect me down the road in twenty years, "this is your future" is all i seem to ever hear anymore, life is scary, to me. you too? hey, i guess this is just a faith based thing we've got going, i'm buckled in along for the ride. all i can do is pray that i make it down the road.

Thinking back to this same time last year is crazy. I was in such a different point in my life. I was finally no longer a freshman, I had friends that I thought I would be friends with for the rest of high school, I didn't drive, had no job, I hadn't earned the trust my parents have for me yet, I was more naive, but I wouldn't quite say I'm any smarter now. I guess last year I thought I was in this bubble, where everything was perfect, and it'd stay that way for the rest of my time in high school. Boy was I wrong, I'm in a different place in life. A total 360.

Who have I become?

That's still a question I've been asking myself daily. Is it better or worse than what I was before? Have I grown as a person? Have I made the right choices to get me where I am now? I still have another year left before college. I can't look back at my past year and remember any of the nights where I stayed home, I've made memories that I never want to forget. I think that has a big part in what has shaped me. New experiences, new mistakes, all in a year? Hard to absorb.

It's just hard to believe how so much has changed in one year. Everything was so different.

It's that time of year. I've been dreading going back to school since the day we got out for summer vacation. Best summer of my life? No, not in my book. It was a good summer though, made a lot of money, and a lot of new relationships have been formed. I can also say I've crossed a few things off my bucket list. I also got a perm! Crazy, I have curly hair now. I've officially put 2,000 miles on my car this summer and I haven't even left Macon. Today though, was the day I had been avoiding even thinking about, orientation. It reminded me of how I have to deal with the ignorant people at my school, but it also reminded me that I get to spend more time with the genuine people I have in my life. My schedule isn't bad, and I hope it'll be an easy year. So tomorrow morning, I will be up before the sun is to get ready and go to my Junior year of high school. Although it will be sad, it will also be a new adventure.

On a different note, it feels great to be blogging again. I forgot how much I need it to just write and get things off my chest. I had my laptop taken away majority of the summer, but ya know. That's a different story. For the time being, I have an odd urge to clean everything in sight. So I'm gonna go continue doing that. This song is a really good song to clean your room to.

Choose to be happy.
I think this is going to be my new motto, it's summer and I want to be as happy as possible. Not just because it's summer, but this is for always. I will no longer surround myself with things or people that make me unhappy. You don't have to be unhappy, every single person has the power to change things, to turn their life around, or just add in a little bit of happiness. I don't know where my realization of this came from, I just realized there's no point in being sad. I get how people are passionate about something, coming from Miss Passionate herself, but that doesn't mean sad. I'm done being mad at people for stupid reasons and holding grudges, those add onto burdens I have or stress that I feel. I'm not saying everyone is forgiven for the things they've done to me, but I will no longer keep the bad memories in the front of my mind, they'll just go into storage into a separate area in my brain. I will be happy, I will choose to be happy. I plan on having a fantastic summer.
Here are some happy songs. :)

Summer lovin' had me a blast

Summer lovin' happened so fast

So, summer has been great so far. My sleeping schedule is already completely outta whack. It got me thinking though, this summer I'm not going to be forced to see people I don't like, or who don't like me. I always love that about summer, where I'm completely happy because I'm surrounded by people who love me just as much as I love them. No drama. We'll see how it plans out. In the mean time, I love working. I like the environment, and just having an excuse to get out of the house and make new friends. I'm also looking forward to not being broke. So, here's to summer and all the adventures and new things this one will bring me.

Summer starts Thursday at 2:30. I think I can make it. I've never been this ready for summer in my entire life, and I intend to make it the best one.